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The Crackdown Edition: Crypto, Data Breaches, and Netflix Password Sharing
Monday, May 15th, 2023
1. Netflix Cracking Down on Password Sharing While Ignoring Most Important Problem: People Who Think The Show Friends is Funny
After enjoying a prosperous first quarter, Netflix has decided to tighten its belt by trimming $300 million in spending this year, insiders say. Rather than a hiring freeze or pink slips, company leaders are encouraging workers to get thrifty with their expenditures. We're waiting to see how creative they can get with it... like making employees bring their own toilet paper to work, that'd be fun. Facing a market of streaming saturation, the video giant is seeking new ways to bolster revenue, including cracking down on password sharing and launching a new ad-supported service. Maybe they could also start charging people based on how many times they re-watch The Office, that would rake in some serious cash.
2. The $435,000 Price is Right!
Do Kwon, the mastermind behind the failed blockchain company Terraform Labs, has been granted a hefty bail of €400,000 after getting caught with fake documents in Montenegro. Along with his fellow South Korean associate, Kwon has pleaded not guilty to the charges of forgery against him. Reports suggest that Kwon attempted to board a flight to Dubai with a fake Costa Rican passport, but was arrested before he could escape. The US and Seoul want him back for his role in the $40 billion cryptocurrency crash, but it seems like Kwon has found a way to buy himself some time.
Every free subscription brings Do Kwon closer to justice… okay that’s a bit of a stretch.
3. Byju's Student Learning App = Valuation Rocketship
Indian edtech giant Byju's has successfully raised $250 million, allowing the company to flex its financial muscles and line up another $700 million in the near future, sources reported. Meanwhile, the company's subsidiary Aakash is gearing up for its much-anticipated initial public offering. Despite other high-profile startups experiencing value corrections, Byju's has maintained its $22 billion valuation for the past year, cementing its status as India's most valuable edtech company. In related news, Byju's has generated $1.26 billion in gross revenue, and has acquired startups worth $2.5 billion over the past two and a half years, because when you're at the top, why not keep climbing?
4. The Twitter Rumors are True: Yaccarino to CEO
New Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino has declared her undying enthusiasm for transforming the social media platform, citing Elon Musk's "brighter future" vision as her primary source of inspiration. The former ad business modernizer at NBCUniversal emphasized the importance of user feedback in constructing the mythical Twitter 2.0. Listening to what your users want - a truly revolutionary strategy! Yaccarino will inherit a platform that has struggled to rebound from an ad revenue plummet and other dilemmas, including the potential for ads to appear next to grossly inappropriate content. But fear not, for Yaccarino is here to save the day!
5. USDOT Unveils New Commuting Option: Identity Theft
The personal information of 237,000 current and former US federal government employees has been exposed in a data breach at the US Transportation Department (USDOT). The breach hit systems for processing transit benefits that reimburse government employees for some commuting costs with a maximum benefit allowance of $280 per month. Maybe next time they'll just bike, carpool or take a horse-drawn carriage to work. USDOT said in a statement that the breach did not affect any transportation safety systems and it has frozen access to the transit benefit system until it has been secured and restored. At least transportation safety systems are safe... for now.