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Suing, Scamming and Spying Your Way to The Top
Tuesday, April 11th, 2023
Government Documents Leaked on Social Media, Finally Making Your Time on Twitter and YouTube Worthwhile
A major leak of alleged classified US military documents has sparked an official investigation by the Department of Defense. Multiple tranches of documents have appeared on social media sites over recent weeks, some reportedly intended only for those with the highest levels of US security clearance like Zero Bond or the secret menu at your local Taco Bell. The leaked information covers a wide range of topics, from US assessments of the war in Ukraine to intelligence gathered on diplomatic allies. At least one document appears to have been altered to lower Russia's death toll in the war and inflate that of Ukraine and other documents allegedly include information about the US essentially spying on allies, including South Korea. The South Korean government stated that it would be discussing the matter with the US in a conversation that we imagine will be more cringe-inducing than accidentally liking your ex's Instagram photo from three years ago.
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White Collar Criminal Thinks Outside the Grave
Suni Munshani, the former CEO of a Connecticut-based technology company that’s not even worth naming, has been sentenced to 42 months in prison for his part in a scheme to defraud the company of millions of dollars. Between 2011 and 2019, Munshani and others conducted an eight-year scheme to defraud the company, during which Munshani created an email account in the name of his deceased uncle and used it to obtain payments from the company for services that were never provided. He was also found guilty of defrauding the company through fraudulent licensing and reseller agreements. Hats off to him for really going above and beyond to scam his former company and using his creativity and resourcefulness to impersonate dead relatives and falsify agreements. If only he had put that same effort into creating a legitimate business, he might have been successful!
Former Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal and two other ex-executives are salty, oops we mean suing the company over unpaid expenses related to legal matters, including investigations launched by the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Department of Justice. Right after buying Twitter in October 2022, current CEO Elon Musk fired the executives “for cause" (allegedly) in an attempt to avoid paying golden parachute deals. The matryoshka doll lawsuit, filed in the Delaware Court of Chancery, seeks an order requiring Twitter to advance all expenses the plaintiffs have incurred so far and reimbursement for expenses incurred while suing Twitter to get reimbursement for the earlier expenses. As we always say, if you can't beat them, sue them.
FTX: Where the Bare Minimum of Accounting Standards Cease to Exist
Debtors of now-defunct crypto exchange FTX have claimed that "hubris, incompetence, and greed" led to the exchange's collapse, according to a report filed to the US Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware. In a shock to absolutely no one, the now-defunct crypto exchange was found to lack basic accounting and financial controls while being run by a small group of individuals who "stifled dissent." The report also alleged that the company failed to put in place "basic, widely accepted" security controls to safeguard its crypto assets. For example, transfers in the tens of millions of dollars were “approved” over Slack via emoji messages, leaving only informal records of such transfers, or no records at all. The report was filed by FTX's CEO and chief restructuring officer, who is only interested in transparency, according to himself.
Reach Capital Goes Back To The SMART Board
San Francisco-based edtech venture firm Reach Capital has closed a $215 million funding round to invest in early-stage US and international startups, with a particular focus on Latin America. The company also announced a $4 million "sidecar fund" made up of capital from 40 portfolio companies and whose purpose is not totally clear to us. Reach Capital's previous funding vehicle closed amid a boom in edtech that has since slowed, with startups raising $10.6 billion in 2021, down 49% from 2020. (Send thoughts and prayers). However, the firm argues that less capital means less competition, and that it can focus on AI and [insert other buzzword no one actually understands here].