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Quarterly Earnings Season, So Accountants Can Get Their Moment in the Sun
Friday, April 28th, 2023
1. Bezos' Wallet Rejoices as Amazon Exceeds Expectations
In the time of quarterly earnings reports, Amazon basically crushed it. The tech giant reported net sales of $127.36 billion, beating Wall Street's paltry expectations of $124.7 billion. And don't even get us started on Amazon Web Services' net sales, which came in at $21.35 billion instead of the estimated $21.03 billion. Amazon's stock rose as much as 10% in after-hours trading following the earnings announcement. Looks like Jeff will be able to add another yacht to his collection this year.
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2. Pinterest + Amazon = Next-Level Impulse Buying
Pinterest and Amazon are teaming up to make online shopping even more dangerously convenient. The multi-year strategic ad partnership will flood Pinterest boards with more brands and products to satisfy consumers' fickle interests as Amazon will become the first partner on third-party ads. This means that Pinterest users will no longer need to scour the internet for the patterned rompers and aesthetically-pleasing coffee mugs they find on the platofmr, rather they can purchase in via Amazon. Woohoo!
3. Chief Network's Solution to Economic Challenges
Professional women's network Chief lays off employees to focus on members, not realizing that having fewer employees is the opposite of that. The company cited a challenging macroeconomic environment as the reason behind the move, which is obviously just code for "we need to cut costs." This comes after the company recently hit a membership base of 20,000 and was valued at $1.1 billion in 2022. In an attempt to distract from the layoffs, Chief recently hired Sujean Lee as its first Chief Experience Officer. But let's be honest, having a "chief experience officer" doesn't mean much when you're not giving your employees the experience of job security.
4. Snapchat Selfies Can't Save the Company
Snap, the parent company of Snapchat, has reported a 7% drop in revenue, proving that even a platform where people send pictures of their lunches can't escape the realities of the stock market. This is the first time the company's revenue has fallen since it went public with the company blaming a "disrupted" demand for ads, and Apple's new privacy changes. The company also recorded a net loss of $329 million. However, its daily user count grew by 15% year over year to 383 million, and Snap has launched a chatbot powered by OpenAI - the same one we reported on Tuesday that users have been frantically trying to block, unfriend, and generally obliterate from existence.
5. Green Text Message Enthusiasts Rejoice
For those who haven’t modernized to the current decade, the Google Pixel 7a is set to be released on May 10 for roughly $500, and the full spec sheet has been leaked ahead of launch. Compared to Apple's iPhone, the Pixel 7a offers similar specifications, such as a large display, a high-quality camera, and a powerful processor. However, the Pixel 7a offers a higher refresh rate, allowing for smoother scrolling and a better visual experience, while the iPhone 12 offers… essentially, a higher starting price point.