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One Winner and Four Losers
Thursday, May 25th, 2023
1. Cryptocurrency Kingpin Do Kwon's Bail Dreams Shattered, International Legal Maze Awaits
Do Kwon, the mastermind behind Terraform Labs who was charged by the SEC for defrauding investors of his cryptocurrency, has been dealt a heavy blow by the high court in Montenegro. The court overturned the previous decision to grant him bail, effectively keeping Kwon locked up until further evaluation by the lower court. Kwon's plea of innocence during the initial hearing, where he faced charges of forging travel documents, fell on deaf ears. The airport arrest back in March, as Kwon and his accomplice attempted to flee to Dubai, was clearly a doomed escape plan. Not only does Kwon have the US and South Korea breathing down his neck for extradition, but he may also face the grim reality of serving a prison sentence in Montenegro before his grand international journey behind bars. We eagerly await the next hearing in June.
2. DeSantis Chooses Twitter, Twitter Chooses Chaos
Ron DeSantis's highly anticipated 2024 campaign announcement on Twitter turned into a technical comedy of errors as glitches hijacked his livestreamed voice chat with Elon Musk. A second Twitter Space was hastily erected, but the audience barely measured up to a measly fraction of the whopping 580,000 listeners who eagerly tuned in for the initial train wreck. Unfazed by the chaos, DeSantis channeled his inner Trump, regaling the reduced crowd with a speech that echoed the divisive rhetoric of his predecessor. Rather than opting for the predictable Fox News route, DeSantis boldly chose the Twitter stage, embracing technical difficulties and leaving his mark on the online circus.
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3. Meta's Cost-Cutting Delight: Layoffs, AI Tools, and a Dash of Employee Misery
Meta, the company formerly known as Facebook, has recently given a heartfelt gift to its employees: a fresh round of layoffs, impacting around 6,000 unlucky souls. In a bid to save money and achieve organizational flatness, Meta has axed business roles, building on the job cuts from just a few months ago. But don't worry, folks, Meta still believes in the power of the metaverse, pouring billions into VR and AI research while introducing fancy A.I. tools, custom chips, and even a supercomputer. Oh, did we mention that employee morale is currently lower than the depths of the Mariana Trench? Good times.
4. Nvidia's Stock Blasts Off Like A Rocket Ship, A.I. Chips Fuel the Journey
In a wild turn of events, Nvidia's shares surged by almost 30% as the company forecasted second-quarter revenue more than 50% above expectations. The high demand for its A.I. chips, used in applications like ChatGPT, led to the boost. With a market value surpassing $950 billion, Nvidia proudly claimed the title of the most valuable chipmaker and the fifth-most valuable company on Wall Street. Good for them, but we had no idea Wall Street handed out participation ribbons for fifth place... Anyway, the company has started full production of its latest A.I. chips and expects revenue of $11 billion for the current quarter. Nvidia faces competition from rivals like AMD and Intel, but it differentiates itself by selling entire A.I. supercomputing systems. We're feeling major FOMO for not investing in NVIDIA stock. Our psychic abilities clearly need a tune-up.
5. VinFast's Recall: Electric Vehicles Crash Risk Perfect for Thrill-Seekers!
Vietnamese EV maker VinFast is recalling its first batch of vehicles shipped to the US due to a software error that hampers the display of critical safety information, posing a crash risk. Slight dilemma! This follows VinFast's announcement of a US listing via a merger with Black Spade Acquisition Co though we can't imagine this would have a material impact on the deal! The company plans to resolve the issue with a software update scheduled for today, May 25th. It's worth noting that VinFast had previously recalled cars in Vietnam for a separate issue, but also received $2.5 billion in funding pledges.