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Merger Madness

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Merger Madness

Thursday, May 11th, 2023

May 11, 2023
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1. Former Coinbase Product Manager Receives Coveted Cryptocurrency Insider Trading Conviction

In a groundbreaking first for the world of crypto, Ishan Wahi has been awarded a prestigious two-year stay in the big house by US prosecutors for his involvement in the "first insider trading case involving cryptocurrency." How exciting for Mr. Wahi! According to prosecutors, Wahi's scheme was a "massive abuse" of Coinbase's trust and their cover-up attempts proved that they were fully aware of the wrongness of their actions. Thanks to Wahi's tip-off, he and his friends were able to rake in $1.5 million by trading 55 digital assets before listing announcements between June 2021 and April 2022. His brother, Nikhil Wahi, pleaded guilty in September to a wire fraud conspiracy charge and received a 10-month sentence in January. During the hearing, Ishan Wahi expressed regret for his actions and their impact on his loved ones, many of whom were present in court.

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2. Lithium Producers Allkem and Livent: A Match Made in Metal Heaven

Allkem and Livent have decided to merge in a bold move to dominate the world's lithium supply. The all-stock $10.6 billion deal has sent shockwaves through the market, as investors scramble to figure out what this means for the future of electric vehicle batteries. Sources say that Livent's lackluster stock price left them vulnerable to an opportunistic takeover bid, which ultimately led to this marriage of the two companies. The CEO is urging the US to sign a free trade deal with Argentina, where a lot of Lithium is extracted, to make sure they're compliant with E.V. tax credits. This new lithium powerhouse is sure to give its competitors a run for their money, so buckle up, folks – the race for the world's lithium supply just got a whole lot more interesting.

3. New Disney+ and Hulu Streaming App to Solve All Your First-World Problems

In a desperate bid to regain lost subscribers, Disney+ has teamed up with Hulu to release a new streaming app. Disney+ took a major hit recently, losing a staggering 4 million subscribers in the second quarter of 2023 while Hulu, on the other hand, gained a measly 200,000 subscribers. The new app will bring together all your favorite shows and movies from both platforms without any pesky ads. We'll all have to wait patiently for the launch later this year, and keep our fingers crossed that the price hike for the ad-free tier won't cost an arm and a leg.

4. Faraday Future's Electric Car Production Back On Track... For Now

Faraday Future somehow managed to scrounge up $100 million in debt to help kickstart production of their FF 91 Futurist electric car, following a rough patch of funding shortages that pushed their delivery dates back further than the horizon. In addition to getting their flagship vehicle out to customers, the company will use the new cash to strengthen their production lines. Faraday Future's been dealing with money problems and some internal reshuffling after some beef with FF Top Holding, one of their big-time stockholders while not too long ago, Faraday Future even cast doubt on their ability to keep the lights on. Yikes... But come February, they managed to scrape together enough cash to finally start cranking out the FF 91 Futurist.

5. Google's A.I. Chatbots: The Search Engine That's Always Listening

Get ready to say goodbye to the old, boring way of searching online because Google is shaking things up with a makeover no one asked for. The company is set to launch its new A.I.-powered chatbots in the U.S., and they promise to answer "questions you never thought Search could answer" and help you find information faster than ever before. But that's not all! The new chatbots will also completely transform the look and feel of Google Search results, making them more dynamic and more difficult for Grandpa to navigate than ever before. The announcement was made at Google's annual developer event which focused on showcasing the company's latest technological advancements.

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