Hump Day Highs and Lows
Wednesday, June 7th, 2023
It's a Flamethrower, It's a Bonfire, It's... a Ford?
Ford Motor Co. has issued yet another recall for their vehicles, this time, for 125,322 hybrid SUVs and pickup trucks. Apparently, leaked engine fluids and fuel vapor have the potential to ignite and light on fire, making your daily commute a bit more exciting than you bargained for. And let's not forget that this recall comes hot on the heels of last week's recall of 142,000 Lincoln SUVs for the same issue. On the bright side, Ford's stock price is up 2% though. With a record-breaking number of recalls last year, it's clear that Ford is truly committed to keeping their customers on their toes. It's almost as if they believe that setting cars ablaze is a unique selling point.
UK Cheekily Removes "Spy" Cams Made in China
The UK has announced its plan to remove Chinese-made cameras from sensitive government sites. Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who sees China as the ultimate threat to security and prosperity, has taken a bold stance against these intrusive devices. While the announcement failed to name specific companies, British lawmakers have previously expressed their concerns over Hikvision and Dahua, two Chinese firms with alleged ties to privacy violations and human rights abuses. Of course, Hikvision was quick to respond, stating that the UK's actions were merely part of the growing trend of technology bans and had nothing to do with the security of their impeccable products. Naturally, Beijing has also expressed its opposition, arguing that expanding the concept of national security to suppress Chinese enterprises is completely unjustified. It's worth noting that this is just another chapter in the UK's campaign against Chinese technology, as they previously banned TikTok on government phones and barred Huawei from their 5G network.
Automation is the Name of the Game
Instabase, a startup with a name that sounds like a rejected app idea from the early 2000s, has managed to convince investors to pour $45 million into their "unstructured" data analysis platform. Their goal is to help companies automate document processing and understand verbose and dense "academic papers, legal paperwork, financial data, etc." all at once. Instabase has even built pre-built applications for lazy companies who can't be bothered to create their own. Instabase's CEO assures us that their platform is far superior to the likes of Google Cloud, Amazon Web Services, and Azure. Why? Because they don't require any data science work or training of AI models which can get expensive. You don't need expertise when you can just slap on some automation. Oh, and did we mention that "four out of the top five U.S. banks" are apparently using Instabase? Must be some real cutting-edge stuff if the big banks are on board.
Get on board with us and be the industry know-it-all in your next Zoom meeting.
Apple Acquires AR Startup So We Can Have Pokémon on Our Morning Toast
Apple has swooped in to acquire Mira, a startup that dabbles in the magical realm of augmented reality (AR) headsets. Mira's sticker price hasn't been disclosed, but the company has been crafting these fancy AR headsets for esteemed clients like Universal Studios. Initially, Mira aimed to introduce the masses to the world of AR with their lightweight hardware, but since profit rules all, they shifted their focus to industrial rollouts because it was (presumably) a more lucrative market. Meanwhile, Apple recently unveiled their Vision Pro headset as we reported on this week, and everyone's wondering if Mira will sprinkle its AR magic onto Apple's roadmap. Fun fact: Jony Ive, the design wizard who graced us with Apple products of the past, once advised Mira. So, you know it's gonna be good!
Priceline and Google Team Up for Travel
Priceline has teamed up with Google's all-knowing A.I. to create a virtual travel agent that promises to be like a personal concierge. According to Priceline's CTO Martin Brodbeck, you can effortlessly find a hotel near a Christmas market or a vegan restaurant if you're like that, because apparently, that's the crucial information we all need. With Google's generative A.I., Priceline can draft texts, emails, and more that looks like it was written by a real person, ensuring a truly authentic booking experience. This move is all about Google's ambition to compete with Amazon and Microsoft in the cloud services game. In the meantime, let's sit back and enjoy the rise of AI-powered travel planning, because what could go wrong when chatbots and parrot-like suggestions take the reins? Oh sorry, you wanted to fly to Colorado, but ended up in Cambodia!