EV and AI: The Trendiest Acronyms of Our Time
Wednesday, May 31st, 2023
1. Liz's Prison Sentence
Elizabeth Holmes, the mastermind behind Theranos, has finally surrendered herself for an 11-year prison sentence, putting an end to the Silicon Valley soap opera. With a casual outfit, a smile on her face, and no handcuffs in sight, Holmes breezed into a minimum-security prison camp in Texas. She had been out on bail since 2018 when she was indicted for fraud. Convicted on four counts, she now faces 85% of her sentence, enjoying the comforts of a prison that lacks fences and strict rules... sort of like a country club! Holmes tried to delay her sentence, but a judge shut her down, crushing her dreams of a new trial. Holmes, now rebranding as "Liz," hopes to rebuild her image while repaying a mere $452 million in restitution. Perhaps she'll start a lemonade stand or billion-dollar biotech company to speed things up.
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2. Judge Demands Lawyers Swear Off AI Assistance
Judge Brantley Starr has declared war on AI-generated gibberish in his courtroom. Now, every attorney must swear on a stack of law books that their filings weren't drafted with the help of generative AI. And if they did, they better have had a human fact-check it, because sometimes algorithms can be as reliable as a fortune teller with a Magic 8-Ball. This move came after a lawyer named Steven Schwartz let ChatGPT unleash a torrent of fictional cases in his recent filing. He now regrets his decision to use AI and warns other lawyers to probably think twice before trying it. Judge Starr's rule may seem like a one-off, but we wouldn't be surprised if this sets a precedent and more judges follow suit.
3. China vs. the US: World Confronts Existential Crisis of Who Will Win the AI Bragging Rights
Chinese search giant Baidu has decided to join the AI venture capital party by launching a $145 million. The world simply won't ever have enough money pouring into artificial intelligence! Baidu also plans to hold a competition for developers to showcase their skills in building applications using its ERNIE large language model a.k.a. having developers work for free under the guise of a hackathon. China seems to be keeping up with the AI trend, with nearly 80 organizations releasing their own language models, slightly surpassing the United States. China even published draft regulations in April to try and control the chaotic world of generative artificial intelligence. Good luck with that, China. We all know that AI developers are known for their strict adherence to rules and regulations.
4. Faraday Future Introduces $310K Electric Vehicle: Because Saving the Planet Shouldn't Be Cheap
Electric vehicle maker Faraday Future has unveiled its limited edition FF 91 2.0 Futurist Alliance, which you can now own for the bargain price of $309,000! This exclusive model is only available in a measly 300 units worldwide, so you better act fast before you miss out on the chance to show off your eco-friendly status symbol. Faraday Future also launched their groundbreaking subscription-based mobile ecosystem product called "FF aiHypercar+." It's like having your own personal AI algorithm that tells you how much money you wasted on a ridiculously expensive car. How innovative! All of this comes after the company faced minor setbacks in actually producing their flagship electric car, the FF 91 Futurist, then delivering it on time to buyers. Like we said, only a minor setback.
5. Bringing Dash of British Flair and Swiss Precision to Indonesia's EV Game
A British consortium, along with the help of Switzerland's Glencore and Indonesia's Aneka Tambang, is swooping in to invest in Indonesia's electric vehicle (EV) batteries sector. Armed with $9 billion, they're about to turn the archipelago into an EV hotspot and dabble up and down the supply chain, including mining. Because who needs national self-sufficiency when you can rely on the tea-sipping, crumpet-munching British and their charming accents? Perhaps soon EVs will run rampant in the archipelago, leaving no stone unturned, except for the ones that Glencore and Aneka Tambang will be mining, of course. Bravo, chaps!