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All Eyes on Googs
Monday, April 24th, 2023
1. Lyft Unveils Revolutionary Cost-Cutting Strategy
Lyft CEO, David Risher, is pulling out his trusty layoff axe on Friday with plans to significantly chop down the ride-hailing company's workforce in a noble effort to reduce costs. Although the exact number of employees affected remains shrouded in mystery, insiders speculate that the layoffs could potentially impact over 4,000 Lyft workers, equating to a devastating 30% of the company's workforce. This isn't the first time Lyft has swung the layoff blade either, having previously axed 13% of their staff back in November 2022. The move comes as Lyft tries to fend off the relentless competition from Uber Technologies and grapples with profit margin woes. After the announcement of impending layoffs, Lyft’s stock rose 4% so there’s good news for some… perhaps, for someone like Risher?
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2. Google Employees Discover Secret to Making Millions: Become the CEO
Google’s parent company Alphabet has shown its employees just how much it values their hard work by paying CEO Sundar Pichai a whopping $226 million in total compensation in 2022. The package, which included stock awards worth $218 million, was more than 800 times the median employee's pay, demonstrating Alphabet's commitment to promoting income inequality. This comes after the company announced plans to cut 12,000 jobs globally earlier this year to which Google employees in London and Zurich staged walkouts to express their displeasure with the company's priorities.
3. Samsung’s Failed "We’re Just Built Different!” Defense
Samsung just got slapped with a $303 million bill for copying another company's homework! A US federal jury found the Korean tech giant guilty of willfully infringing on five patents related to improvements in data processing owned by computer-memory company Netlist. The infringement allegedly occurred with Samsung's "memory modules" for high-performance computing used in cloud-computing servers and other data-intensive technology. Netlist claimed that its innovations allowed users to extract useful information from vast amounts of data in a shorter period of time while increasing the power efficiency of memory modules. Samsung, on the other hand, argued that the patents were invalid and that its technology worked differently than Netlist's inventions. Looks like Samsung will have to pay up for not doing their own homework!
4. Eargasms for All: Nura's Headphone Tech Acquired by US Company
Melbourne-based start-up Nura has been snatched up by a US medical device company, Masimo, in a deal that will leave audiophiles reeling. The juicy details we actually want like purchase price has been kept under wraps, but it's evident that Nura's unique headphone technology, which customizes audio output based on the user's ear architecture (whatever that means), will be joining the ranks of audio giants Polk Audio and Bowers and Wilkins under the Denon brand. Nura's personalized audio system sounds like a game-changer, but let's not forget the true innovation we need: wireless headphones that don't die before we finish a single song.
5. Google’s Bard AI: Who Needs Human Developers Anyway?
Google's conversational AI tool Bard can now generate and debug code in more than 20 programming languages, according to Google Research product lead Paige Bailey. But don't get too excited, Bailey from Google Research warns that Bard is still an early experiment and may occasionally offer erroneous or deceitful information. Oopsies!